My name is Horatio Threadneedle, and I am a serious thinker. I am given to thinking, regularly and seriously, about all sorts of things. What follows are some of my fleeting thoughts.
It probably would be better if people were born old and grew younger, instead of the other way around.
Finding money in the street is, for the most part, more pleasurable than being kicked into the gutter.
If everything was easy, then nothing would be difficult.
It is a good thing that the moon is round, because it would look silly if it was square.
Up is up and down is down, and that is how it ought to be.
Any person who does not like celery should be approached with extreme caution.
Remembering to forget usually requires more effort than forgetting to remember.
A rose by any other name would not be known as a rose.
No one actually knows the meaning of life.
Citizens vote in elections for the same reason that mice walk into mousetraps.
Most of the time, most people in most situations do not know why they are doing whatever they happen to be doing.
A guess is as good as a conjecture, but is far less pompous.
When all is said and done, there will be nothing left to say or do.
If an Eskimo suddenly appears at your front door, saying that he has a box of fresh snow to deliver, it is best to be suspicious.
Cast-iron underwear is, without question, a bad thing.
Depending on the prevailing conditions, a handful of figs can sometimes be more useful than a cartload of gold.
A dog without a bark is not nearly as strange as a bark without a dog.
If all of the truly honest people in the world were put into one room, it would not be particularly crowded.
As a general rule, gentlemen who keep lobsters in the pockets of their trousers are inclined to be of a nervous disposition.
A winner is merely a loser who was fortunate enough to be the first one across the finish line.
It takes a wise man to understand that wisdom is an illusion.
The main difference between a rich man and a poor man is that a rich man has no excuse for wearing shoes that have not been properly polished.
When things are going badly and all else has failed, close your eyes and imagine that you are a cucumber.
If there are rational beings on other planets, it is likely that they are laughing at us.
A banker with ethics is as rare as an elephant with wings.
One should always look both ways before crossing an ocean.
Regardless of whether the glass is half empty or half full, it is a decided nuisance if the glass tips over and its contents spill into your lap.
A blessing in disguise is more welcome than a curse in a party dress.
In most cases, it is not advisable to offend a hot-tempered tiger.
All in all, everything is what it is, more or less.
0 comments:
Post a Comment