Me: Hello, Self. How are you?
Self: Oh, I can't complain. And you?
Me: Fine, thank you. What have you been doing since we last spoke?
Self: Oh, nothing much. A bit of this and a bit of that.
Me: Which do you enjoy most, "this" or "that"?
Self: Let me think. It all depends on my mood, of course, but "that" is generally more enjoyable to me than "this."
Me: How interesting! Of course, if one wanted to step beyond the confines of the particular question at hand and take a broadly philosophical view, one might be inclined to regard both "this" and "that" as merely different ways of giving expression to the same worldly delusion.
Self: Yes, one might, if one wanted to be a pompous twit.
Me: Are you saying that I am a pompous twit?
Self: Yes, I believe that I did say something along those general lines.
Me: What a bloody nerve! I was merely trying to elevate the discussion. It may come as a surprise to someone as intellectually slothful as yourself, but some of us do actually strive to attain a higher mentality. Even if you choose to be a dolt, there's no need to be impudent about it.
Self: There are times when being impudent is the best response.
Me: You know, you come across as being an extremely small-minded person.
Self: I find that my mind is big enough for my own purposes.
Me: You fancy yourself to be something of a wit, don't you? That's all very well, but must you be so thoroughly disagreeable?
Self: Better to be disagreeable than to be a pompous twit, I always say.
Me: That's quite enough from you! I'm not going to stand here and take this sort of abuse!!
Self: I can get you a chair, if you'd rather sit down.
Me: That won't be necessary. I've got better things to do with my time. I'm leaving.
Self: Don't slam the door when you go!
